Hello

As an idealist, ambitious youth, I swore I would never, ever, ever, ever, work in an office. Ever. Nor would I prostitute my soul, inspiration, and well-being for money. Never, ever, ever. Isn't that cute.

Hello, my name is blahblah and I spend my days setting new records for longest Solitaire losing streak and fearing a future of secretary butt. Also, I stare at the photo cards my boss lets me sell out of the office. They're of baby animals and flowers (that's part of the prostituting my soul and inspiration part). On occasion, I interact with customers. The company and product shall remain nameless, but it has to do with elderly people with hearing loss. So, just to be clear, my job is to talk on the phone with people who can't hear. Here's a little snatchet (I make up words) of a typical conversation:


Ringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringringring

Hellllooo?

(chirrupy tone activated)
Hi, may I speak with soandso please?
                 
....Who?

Soandso.

Who is this?

This is BLAHBLAH calling from BLAHDEEBLAH

Who? Speak up, I can't hear on the phone!
            Dramatic Mental Aside: No effing duh.

(slowly and with impeccable enunciation)
This is BLAHBLAH calling from BLAHDEEBLAH

What? I can't HEAR you, speak LOUDER

I'M CALLING FROM BLAHDEEBLAH!!!
            (insert echoing laughter from my boss's office)

Hold on a minute, you're speaking too softly!!
BEEPBEEPFUMBLEFUMBLEBEEPBEEP
             dramatic aside: Ow.       
Now, who IS THIS?

THIS IS BLAHBLAH CAAALLLIIING FROM BLAAHHDEEEBLAHHHH!!!!! I'M CALLING TO CONFIRM YOUR APPOINTMENT TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No! I don't want any!
*click*

End Scene.

Yeah. Welcome to a day in the life of an F.O.A.
(Front Office Assistant)

-The FOA